Helping your child through big life transitions

September is back to school month! That means new friends and new adventures. But it’s also a big change and might be the first time your child has been away from family.

The experts at Child Mind wrote about why kids have trouble with transitions. Your family may deal with many sorts of transitions in the early years. Changes like new siblings, moving, starting school or even unfortunate events like a death or divorce can be big life transitions. The library has resources to help.

School and child care

Starting a new child care or school can come with a mix of emotions for both a child and a caregiver. In this article from Zero to Three, Preschool Prep: Help Toddlers Prepare for Preschool, you’ll find tips that can make a smooth start to preschool.  One suggestion offered is to play school with your child. This can be a low pressure way to introduce them to some of the routines and expectations of a classroom. You can even play storytime and read  We Don’t Eat Our Classmates by Ryan T. Higgins!

New baby

A new baby in the family is a big adjustment. Some children approach this change with excitement, while others may struggle with the shift in their caregiver’s attention. Reassuring your child and allowing them to assist in caring for a new baby, can help. Even young toddlers can take on tasks like fetching a new diaper, or passing the baby a pacifier. Parents Magazine offers more tips by age for helping your child adjust to a new sibling. A fun read about graduating to big siblinghood is When Aidan Became a Brother by Kyle Lukoff.

Moving

Moving can mean a lot of transitions at once: a new home and neighborhood, maybe even a new school. Relocating can impact a child’s mental health and sense of stability. Visiting some landmarks in your new neighborhood ahead of a move may be helpful in familiarizing children to their changing environment. Pop in to your local library and introduce yourself to the local librarian. Perhaps you can check out Evelyn Del Rey is Moving Away by Meg Medina.  

Divorce

In challenging transitions like divorce, you can reassure your child that their parents still love them, and there are many parts of their routine that will stay in place. Child Mind has tips on prioritizing support for children in divorce. When things are tough, find a time to cozy up together with a book like Divorce is the Worst by Anastasia Higginbotham.

Death

Death of a loved one is a transition none of us can fully prepare for, regardless of our age. How you approach this transition with your child will depend on your family’s ideas and beliefs on death, as well as your child’s developmental stage. The Dougy Center, a local grief support center for children and teens, has developed activities and resources for grief presented in both English and Spanish. When you’re ready, consider trying a book like The Heart and the Bottle by Oliver Jeffers. 

Multnomah County Library has many books to support you and your child through life’s big changes. Our “talking about” series of book lists include titles related to many different tricky transitions and other tough topics, like this one on new siblings. Take a deep breath and find what you need. We’re rooting for you!